Friday, April 3, 2009

The Externally Barren Mind

I am beginning to wonder how long that I can keep this up. This being a attitude of contentment while mostly doing nothing but existing. I get up, pray, listen to the news, study some via the seminary, do the coffee thing at the clubhouse, listen to music and smoke way too much. I have little intercourse with actual people. I didn't realize how much of my social interaction was satisfied by working. Even though I have slightly considered going into a monastery, I wonder if I could endure the silence. Actually, I think what it is, I do nothing. I'm in this trailer day in day out and not really accomplishing anything. But is that really necessary, the accomplishing. I don't know. I need to ask God for help and guidance.
I have been putting some photographs up on flikr. I like this one a lot and have added it here. It was taken on a trip to Boise on one of my many job searches. The original is in color, but it is much nicer in black and white seeming to have a full range of the grey scale. In some ways it is a good representation of my current state of mind: kind of barren, but looking ahead.
In Christ!

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