Today is Palm Sunday. What a time, a time to both cheer and cry. I find myself first with the those welcoming Jesus into Jerusalem, hailing him as Messiah. Secondly, I find myself dreading what is to come: a horrific death. But mostly, today is a time of great anticipation, the hosannas, the palm strewn roadways, the giddy hopes of a liberator arriving. It's not fair, really, I know the story, what will happen and so my celebration is less than robust. I would do well to live more in the moment. Too much energy is spent looking forward or backward, and not enough time in the moment.
Yesterday, was a wonderful day for moments. I went with Pastor Rehley to visit my sister in the hospital. I haven't seen her for some time. I think I've been angry with her bacause she is sick, because she is so visibly dying and when that happens my birth relatives are gone. How selfish I am! Seeing her was a moment that made me realize just how selfish. She needs me now and so often I haven't been there. I hope to change that.
After seeing Sue, we stopped to visit two others in care. It makesme wonder if that is to be my role. If I became the vicar here and later the pastor, would I be the one visiting the people I worship with today. They are for the most part older than I and in ten or fifteen years will be in nursing homes. Will I be the one carrying church news, issuing the sacraments, praying over them.
Then, we also visited a teenage girl who wants to be baptized. She has agreed to be welcomed into God's kingdom on Easter Sunday. It was a day of beginnings and endings and endings and beginnings. A young lady will be ending one life and beginning another. The seniors are soon to begin a new life and end another. That God has allowed me to see all this is fairly amazing and contributes to my feelings of not being up to the job. Oddly, I am drawn to it like a moth to a flame.
Well, then off to shout hosanna and collect my palm.