I've Done It Now

Recently, I stumbled across the Special Ministery Program of the Lutheran Church Missouri Synod. I did some research on it with Steve in mind. He has a great heart and I think the right stuff to make a good pastor. Anyway, I mentioned this to my pastor, James Rehley, thinking he might want to check it out. He did and thought I would also be a good candidate, and should think about it. So, after several weeks of soul searching, I have haltingly said yes. I will go ahead on the principle that the Lord will open and close doors. As long as they are open, I will go forward. I hesitate so much because I have a less than stellar history, more like glaring one. Twice divorced, several DUI's, not typical dog collar material. I guess, though, it could help that I have survived all that with a stronger faith than ever. If anyone needs salvation, I do. Of course, I think we all do. If God gave, even the best of us, our just desserts, we'd all be toast. I do spend far too much time in "bad decisions I have made" mode...way unproductive. Back to the doors thing.

God Didn't Strike Me Down

I survived. The Wednesday night service went well. I wish the attendence had been better, but that is very much out of my hands. I ended up providing a pot of black beans & ham for our pre-service dinner. (I recently got Food Stamps and feel like the King of Food.) I started the beans Tuesday evening and finished them Wednesday in time to have a bowl for lunch. When I arrived at church I learned no one had signed up to provide food, so I was able to do so. God works in mysterious ways.
Discovered a Lutheran Rosary recently, although I think the old Daily Office is just as good. I do love Luther's morning and evening prayers and wish we would teach them more.

Back Again

I'm finally back. The first post since December, but I can't beat myself up about that. I feel pretty good actually, considering. I was finally layed off the first weekend in January...no business. I am not able to collect unemployment, because of working under the table. No one to blame but myself. But, a most important but, I am not all that depressed. I think that I am finally getting it. It being St. Paul's "the peace that passes all understanding." Peace in times both good and bad, so that is good.
Today is the third Wednesday in Lent and tonight I am leading our Lenten service. I worry so much that I am all style and no substance, whether I will rely on my performance skills to sell the message, rather than something more heartfelt. It is something that I wrestle with, often. The only training that I formally received taught me how to perform and how to read books. As long as what I am doing is to the glory of God, I think that I'm alright. Many modern American Christians don't observe Lent. I don't know why, perhaps it is too Roman Catholic. Historically, the church has observed a type of Lent since the middle of the second century. (That we know of.) So, it would seem to me that it has a long and tolerably honorable history. Anyway, I am glad that we observe it it, to prepare and remind us of the upcoming passion. It is, after all, the defining moment of Christianity, the fulfilment of a promise given way back in Genesis 3. It's why I still like my crosses to be complete with the corpus, i.e. a true crucifix. Although some feel the resurrection is the seminal moment, but I have always felt it was the sacrifice that redeemed me, not the rising.
Wish me grace, tonight.
Sole Deus gloria!